Elevate
by shonshon97
Summary: Four weeks after Last Sacrifice, Rose and the gang are living the happy ending that they always wanted, but all is not as it appears. Secrets are being kept, hearts will be broken, and a kingdom may lose its queen, again.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is my second fanfiction in the making. Please, please review; it makes me smile.

Disclaimer: I have no ownership of any characters, settings, or previous storylines of this series or franchise. All rights regarding the original plot, characters, and storyline belong to Richelle Mead.

Rpov

"Dimitri, you don't have to come with me. It's just a check up. Relax."

"I'm going", he says as he finishes pulling on his coat, the one I got him for his birthday. God, even when he's annoying, he still makes me smile.

With a sigh, we leave his apartment and head in the direction of court's walk-in clinic.

I stop him when we get to the glass front doors.

"I'm a big girl Comrade. I can handle a little checkup."

"A checkup after heart surgery isn't little"-

"The shrapnel was near my heart, not in it. And the doctors said they got all the major pieces out."-

"That's not everything"-

"Dimitri. Stop fighting me. Come on, you've been hovering all week. I'm fine. Go to work, you're late."

I was right of course, but my words came out louder and harsher than I'd intended. I could see the pain in his eyes and I knew I'd said too much. I ignored the small ache that came from under my thick bandages that came whenever I got too excited, trying look at him while hiding the small flinch I wasn't able to control.

Damn. He saw it.

With that said, a silence grew between us that I'd become used to over the last couple weeks. They had been more frequent since I'd moved into his apartment. After a few moments he let out a white cloud of air into the space around us.

With tired eyes, he was the first to speak. "I just want you to be okay. Now, not whenever these Court snobs decide you're worth the same level of attention as any other moroi here. I don't want to let you out of my sight. Every time I do, I think 'What if something happens to you?'"

I give him a small smile and attempted to bring one to his face.

"Relax comrade, it's just a clinic, not the front lines. If it's serious you'll be the first to to work and I'll call you as soon as I get back to your place."

"Our place."

"Our place "I say with a smile that I hope reached my eyes, so he can't see the emotion welling up inside me that I can't explain yet. It's not something I've ever felt before but I know it isn't love or happiness or anything else I'm supposed to feel when he says that. But just like always, I ignore it, filling it into a folder in my brain to try and decipher later.

He pulls me closer. Now I know my smile is genuine. I always feel better when he's close.

"I'm not pushing you on purpose", he says, "I'm just worried. Whenever I see you walk away from me I get so worried. Even when we're at home and you're just going to the kitchen or the bathroom, I worry."

I reach up and kiss his forehead. then his temple. then his nose. I make a trail of kisses, ending at his mouth.

We kiss and the world becomes simple. It's just us and I can breathe. I'm not scared anymore.

Before the kiss can become too deep, he moves away slightly and we both open our eyes. We stare at each other for a moment; then his phone beeps and he steps away with a reluctant sigh, muttering something in Russian to himself.

 _I really should learn a little Russian one day._

"Christian needs me".

"Of course he does. Who wouldn't need you?" I say, feeling his extra heat leave my body, wishing he's come closer.

He responds to the text quickly then steps forward to give me a small, sweet kiss on my cheek that brings a smile to my face.

"Call me if anything's wrong. Then call when you leave and when you get home. I'll be back before you know it."

That feeling comes back again and I squash it back.

"Sure."

His phone beeps again and he gives me a chaste kiss before walking away to wherever Christian is.

Once he's out of sight, I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding and check my watch.

5:50 pm. _Right on time._

I walk through the doors and make my way to the front desk.

The nurse in at the desk wore gray scrubs and what I assumed to be sneakers. She looked about my age and was reading a magazine and had headphones in. I could tell she was listening to something techno. She wasn't the nurse I was two weeks ago before my last checkup. She was younger with curly blonde hair instead of the older lady I'd met with the yellow bumble bee scrubs, silver hair and red lipstick.

I tapped on the glass. She didn't hear me so I tapped tapped harder and she jumped and looked up. Her eyes were blue instead of brown. After a moment, she pressed a button and spoke.

"Hi. How may I help you?"

"My name is Rosemarie Hathaway. I'm here for a checkup with Dr. Grimshaw."

"I'm sorry ma'am, but Mr. Grimshaw isn't scheduled to report to the clinic until later this evening."

I guess she'd never seen me before, but by her reaction she'd heard of me. I guess my reputation really did preseed me, and she'd heard something less than positive by her reaction. Her expression had changed from slightly startled to disapproving. That had been happening everywhere since Dimitri and I had become a public couple. As we'd imagined, the public wasn't very open about two dhampirs being publicly involved with each other, let alone a former teacher and student who were also former strigoi and "murderer".

"He scheduled me for a 6:15 appointment. Can you see if he's here?"

"He's not"-

"Can you check"-

"Ma'am I just said"-

"Goodmorning you too"

We both turn to see Dr. Grimshaw walk through the doors looking a little flustered. He's wearing black scrubs and a white lab coat, holding a brown leather satchel and a large cup of coffee. From the smell, I could tell it was black. I reflexively crinkled my nose to the stench. I can't stand the smell of coffee, especially black.

"Mr. Grim- I mean Dr. Grimshaw, what are you doing here so early? You aren't scheduled for another few hours."

"I'm working overtime this week Gretchen. Didn't I tell you?"

"I...um...well I..."

"Don't worry about it. It's probably my fault. You know I can be a bit forgetful this time of year."

Her pale skin lit up with a deep blush and she bent down to pick up the magazine she'd dropped when he's walked in. She wasn't suddenly acting so strange and I could tell why.

Dr. Grimshaw was hot.

He's tall, probably just as tall as Dimitri. I'm guessing 6"3', maybe 6"4'. With as tan a skin as a moroi can get, he had short brown hair that was a little too long and greyish-blue eyes that seemed both young and old, like he'd already lived his entire life, like he knew things that you had to be older to learn. He looked young for a cardiologist, but I could tell by my last visit that he was smart. like genius-level smart.

Just like the nurse at the desk, Gretchen apparently, I'd blushed my first time seeing him and had thanked whatever higher power that was watching over me that Dimitri had had to take a call from Christian and had stepped out of the room before the good doctor had arrived. Of course I'd composed myself by the time Dimitri was back, but I'm not sure if Dr. Grimshaw had seen me. I hoped not because my only defense was to blatantly ignore it.

Despite his age, he'd handled me with precise care and hadn't made me feel shy or embarrassed about having my shirt off so he could rebandage my still healing stitches. He'd made me feel calm and safe, something I was very appreciative of since, so far, the only person to do that since I was shot had been Dimitri.

It gave me hope that I would get back to my old self with time.

I was pulled out of my reverie by my phone vibrating in my pocket, making me jump. I still wasn't used to having the cell phone that Dimitri had bought my as a welcome home present. I hadn't needed one back at St. Vlads since the campus was so small, but Court was different, bigger. You could get lost on you way to the mall if you were paying attention.

 **Are you okay? - Dimitri**

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. _What did he think was gonna happen, that I'd drop dead between then and the five minutes I hadn't been attached to his hip?_

Once I'd had the thought, I immediately regretted it. I knew Dimitri was just dealing with me being shot just like everyone else.

 _God, Rose, you almost died in front of the man, Give him a break! He's just worried about you. Most people wished they had someone who loved them as much as Dimitri loves you._

And with that mental reprimand, I replied.

To my surprise, Dimitri had sent two more texts, and I hadn't even noticed.

 **Roza?-Dimitri**

 **What's wrong?-Dimitri**

 _ **Nothing's wrong Dimitri. I'm fine. My checkup is about to start. I'll see you at your place. -Rose**_

 **I have to go. See you soon. -Dimitri**

I frowned at his reply. Usually when he texts me, we talk for a few minutes. And he always says I love you before he leaves.

 _What did I say?_

Before I could really think about it, the nurse hands me a pen and a clipboard slightly rougher than necessary. Startled, I drop my phone and we both take in a breathe.

For a moment we both just stand there, then 'I turn and glare at her.

"Sorry." She looks small and slightly scared, like a child that hopes they don't get a spanking for breaking their something expensive.

"If it's broken, you owe me $300," I say as I bent down to collect the abused piece of metal, checking for damage.

 _Great, the screen is cracked!_

With a sigh, I check for any other damage. It appears to be fine otherwise. I glance over at Gretchen to find her still beside me, looking like she's gonna throw up while she stares at the broken screen. I guess my glare has gotten more menacing with time.

She notices me looking at her at takes a step back, apologizing again.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. Im really sorry, but I don't have $300 and my parents will kill me if they have to pay it. I'm really really really sorry. It was an acident, honest. I didn't do it on purpose"-

"Gretchen, shut up!" She flinches at my volume. I didn't mean to yell at her, but word vomit is really annoying.

"You only broke the screen."

I see her visibly relax, so much so that it's almost comical. If I wasn't so annoyed, I would have laughed.

"Thank God. Again, I'm really sorry. How much do I owe you for it? I'm really really sorry"-

"It's fine. Just get away from me."

"Are you sure? Because I think I have enough to cover it if you'd just wait a moment so I can go get my wallet from the back. I feel really bad about this, you looked like you were having an important conversation. I hope I didn't just "-

"Gretchen back away from me and shut the hell up before I punch you so hard that you'll be the one needing a doctor's visit."

She stopped whatever she was about to say and made a beeline back to her desk. Once there, she proceeded to drop her head on her desk rather loudly, a didn't make another sound.

With a huff, I sat down in a chair and filled out the forms quickly. I checked the time again. 6:20. _Great. Now I'm late to the appointment I came early to. Thanks Gretchen._

I walk up to the desk and hand her my paperwork. She checks over and files it in a file cabinet in a back room behind the desk without saying a word.

Upon her return, she handed me a piece of paper with a number on it and told me to walk through the doors to my left and find room 4.

The room was sterile and white and cold, just like I remembered. There were flowers painted on the white walls as an attempt to make the room more inviting.

I sat down in one of the cold leather chairs while I waited.

About ten minutes later, a nurse with tan skin and curly brown hair came in. She looked to be in her early forties and had a motherly demeanor. When she introduced herself with a warm smile a Nurse Jackie, I was too stunned to reply. This was the first time I'd seen a dhampir working in the medical field, let alone a woman. That odd feeling I'd felt earlier welled up inside me again and my chest began to ache, this time more painful that uncomfortable. I gasped involuntarily and clutched the arm of my chair. I could hear Nurse Jackie calling my name but it sounded very far away, like there was a distance between us that I couldn't see.

Dark spots start to obscure my vision as I try to blink them away. I am unsuccessful. The spots get bigger and Jackie's voice gets smaller. I feel like I'm falling.

As the darkness takes me in its velvet blanket, welcoming me, the last thing I hear is Jackie frantically calling Dr. Grimshaw.

 _What the hell is going on?_

AN: On my profile page are links to what I imagine all the important characters to look like. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns everything but the storyline and any new characters.

AN: Thanks for all the positive feedback. It really means a lot.

 **As the darkness takes me in its velvet blanket, welcoming me, the last thing I hear is Jackie frantically calling Dr. Grimshaw.**

 _ **What the hell is going on?**_

Janine POV

I tossed my body over in the bed again, still not being able to sleep. I felt groggy but for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about him.

 _Well that's just great isn't it? You're up before the crack of dusk thinking about your daughter's father while another man is in your bed sleeping like a baby. Maybe because he_ _ **is**_ _a baby._

I turn my head to the side and stare at the beautiful creature laying next to me. He's a dhampir with curly, dark brown hair and long lashes that framed a gorgeous pair of closed grey eyes. He had a muscular build that she didn't mind staring at, that she had stared at several times over the years. His name was Gary, short for Gareth, and he's smart and sweet.

 _He's also young enough to be in college. Does that even matter to you? That you're creeping on baby sheep before they even leave that manger? He's Dimitri's age for God's sake. How can you be interested in him? You two weren't even born in the same decade._

As much as I hated to admit it, my inner voice was right. Gary was only a year older than Dimitri and sometimes he acted like it, not that I minded much. He made my life interesting and fun, something I hadn't let it be for a very long time. He was my charge's shadow guard and I'd known him since he was 19.

We've been friends for years and he's flirted with me just as long, but it was only recently that I started thinking of him as more than a child passing time while he waited for love with someone in his own generation.

But after everything that happened with the strigoi attack at St. Vladimir's and everything that happened because of it, and now with Rose still recovering, it didn't feel right to just leave, not when Rose and I are finally getting to know each other.

So, as soon as she'd fled Court because what had come to be know as "The Ozera Incident", I'd sent word to Francis that I would no longer be able to guard him, informing him that I would not be attending him on his eccentric trip to the Appalachian Mountains or any other trips to come. After all, it's not like I'd ever needed the money. I'd only ever really become a guardian because it's what my mother had wished of me any I'd honored that wish dutifully.

Instead of a response in the form of an email or letter, Gary appeared at my door about three weeks later. He said that he only kept working for Francis because I'd been there and if I wasn't going to be there, neither would he.

Gary has been living in my apartment for about a month now. I'm not sure if it's very appropriate given our age difference or the fact that we've only been seeing each other for a few weeks. But, since we were employed together, I've technically lived about 10 feet away from Gary for almost six years now and I'm happy to have him. And the last few weeks have been great.

When I'm not with Rose, or teaching an all moroi basic defence class in the middle of court, I'm with Gary.

We usually spend most of our time in my apartment, mostly because I've asked him too. Court has a very 'conversational' environment and I'm not ready to have an entire population disapprove of my romantic choices. We've gone out a few times to simple places like a few hole-in-the-wall restaurants and some of Court's smaller parks.

While I work, Gary interns at one of Court's veterinarian shops as a sort of learn-on-the-job assistant to the doctor's personal assistant. It wouldn't seem like much to most, but it's heading him in the direction he wants to go in and I'm happy for him.

I watch as Gary yawns in his sleep and reaches his arm over me, unconsciously resting his hand on the small of my back.

I smiled.

 _He may not be who I thought I would be with at my age, if I was with anyone at all, but does it really matter? We're both adults who've known each other for years and we make each other happy. Isn't that's what's really important? That we're happy?_

Before I could answer my own thoughts, my phone lit up on the nightstand beside me and started vibrating, identifying that someone was calling me.

 _Who would be calling me at 7: 30 in the evening? It's not even really dark outside?_

At first, I was confused and a little peeved. I didn't recognise the number and promptly declined the call. I was finally about to get some rest when my phone vibrated again. With a sigh, I decided not to answer it. I needed my sleep and my phone would still be there when I'd gotten some. It was probably one of my students working up the nerve to ask me out again. I snuggled into my pillow and started to drift off into sleep when my phone buzzed again.

I huffed and ignored it. I doubt anything my students has to say is urgent enough to warrant me picking up the phone. I doubted it was anyone important; the only people that have my number are Rose, Dimitri, Gary, and a few of my students that I tutor outside of class.

"Answer it."

With a sigh, I crack open my eyes to find Gary staring at me, no longer asleep. I wished I could stare into his eyes all night. They were as gray and as sharp as steel, darkening like a rough tide depending on his mood. Right now, they were dark, almost the color of used charcoal. I wanted to kiss him. And touch him. And loose myself in those beautiful grey eyes of his.

Then, of course, my phone had to buzz again and ruin the moment.

I huffed again, raising myself on my elbows and looking at him longingly before turning and reaching for my phone, stretching out to grab it. Because of the fact that I was so short and had to stretch my body to get the phone instead of getting out of my warm, comfortable bed, Gary's hand slid down slightly. Now it rested on the top of my rear and I smiled when I felt him begin to lazily caress by backside, which looked pretty good it I said so myself. I was only wearing an old sweatshirt and a pair of his boxers and he knew it.

My smile grew as he played with the elastic band holding barely holding the loose fabric in place and traced small patterns in my skin.

As I slid back into bed and turned on my side, facing him and still smiling.

"You know I can't focus on other things when you do stuff like that."

"Maybe I don't want you to focus on other things"

"I thought you wanted me to check my phone"

'I did, but now I want other things"

"Oh really, like what?"

"Like you on top of me"

I laughed. I knew I should blush and turn away, act like I was embarrassed about him saying things like that to me and being so bold and upfront about his feelings and intentions. But I wasn't. Gary was a really handsome guy, but he could be reclusive and I loved it when he spoke exactly what was on his mind, without filtering it or thinking about it first. He only got like this during certain times, like when we were completely alone or sometimes, when we're surrounded by people and he wants to bring my focus back to him. I loved him being open with me and it made me feel like a teenager again to have him say those things and genuinely mean them.

I kissed him. It was slow, agonizingly slow. He groaned when I turned away and I couldn't contain my smile. I loved to tease him and he loved to let me. We kissed like this for a few more moments before my phone lit up and buzzed again in my hands.

Now it was my turn to groan. I glanced down; it was the same number from earlier. It was starting to look more familiar at second glance, so I decided to answer it.

I turned on my back and answered the phone, still smiling.

"Hello."

"Good evening ma'am. If it's no inconvenience, could I speak to Janine Hathaway right away please?"

"This is she, who's calling?"

"Ivoshkov Medical Center. I'm Gretchen. I have some news about your daughter, Rosemarie. I know it's early, but "-

"What's wrong"

"Nothing in particular. However"-

"Then why the hell are you calling me. What happened"-

"Well...it's really nothing to worry about...it wasn't any-anything serious or anything"

She sounded young and scared and I didn't care. At this point I was shoving off Gary's boxers and replacing them with a pair of jeans that I kept under my nightstand, with Gary not far behind me, pulling on a crew neck over his head.

"Gretchen, what happened. What happened to my daughter. I'm on my way now."

"Oh, she's fine now, but earlier this evening she suffered from what we believe to be a panic attack about half an hour ago. We didn't want to call before we knew for sure if she was physically fine. She fine Ms. Hathaway. But she is still unconscious at the moment."-

"I'm still coming"

"That's okay too. When should we expect you?"

" As soon as possible. I'm not hard to miss, I'm five feet tall and have red hair. My boyfriend is coming with me. We'll be there soon. Bye"

With that said, Gary and I left my apartment and speeding for the clinic on the other side of Court.

 _Dear God, I know I don't do this enough for you to take me seriously but please. Let my baby be okay._


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thanks for reading!

 **With that said, Gary and I left my apartment and speeding for the clinic on the other side of Court.**

 _ **Dear God, I know I don't do this enough for you to take me seriously but please. Let my baby be okay.**_

Rpov

"Rose? Rose, can you hear me? It's Dr. Grimshaw? Can you give me some kind of indication that you heard me? Can you open your eyes for me please?"

Someone was holding my hand. I opened my eyes, slowly being pulled out of a plush blanket of smoke and forgotten dreams, to see Dr. Grimshaw standing over me. Or at least I assumed it was him. There was a bright light in front of me and I couldn't really see. I shut my eyes after opening them and heard myself groan something not too intelligible.

"Good. That's very good Rose."

The light stopped.

"Can you open your eyes for me one more time please. I won't shine the light again."

I opened my eyes again slowly to find both Dr. Grimshaw and my mother standing over me. She was the one holding my hand. They both looked relieved. Dr. Grimshaw was still wearing his scrubs and my mom was wearing a sweatshirt that was way too big for her.

I felt groggy and my mouth was dry. Dr. Grimshaw spoke again.

"I'm going to ask you some questions. Is that okay?"

I didn't really feel like talking, but I nodded my head in agreement, answering his questions.

They were basic questions, like if I knew my name and where I was and so forth. I answered his questions but I was still kind of dazed. He said I had passed out for about half an hour and that Gretchen had called my mom.

I drifted in and out of daydreams waiting for her to come get me since the good doctor would not allow be to walk off by myself.

I was nearly asleep when she burst through the door, startling me fully awake, rushed to stand near the hard hospital bed someone had put me on while I was unconscious.

Her eyes were worried and I appreciated the rare display of emotion on my mother's face. I wasn't as groggy now and could really take in everything around me, my mother included. And to say the least, she was a mess.

Her hair was a wild mop of bright curls on her head. They'd grown out over the past few weeks, now reaching her shoulder in frizzy ringlets. She looked tired, like she'd just rolled out of bed wearing the first thing she could find, that first thing being a sweatshirt that looked like it would probably fit Dimitri better and some jeans that looked like they'd faded and worn from time and good use, not like the ones sold in stores.

She looked younger like this, surprisingly so, like somebody who was young enough to be finishing grad school. older than me but by much. It was a little weird to think of my mother as looking like that, but she did. I guess it was times like these that I remembered that my mom was almost 40 and I would pray that I had been born with the same longevity.

"Hey mom"

For a moment, she just stared at me looking worried and I wondered how I looked to her. Probably younger and more bedraggled than her I would guess. Her eyes looked distant and sad, like she was remembering something she'd rather forget. I wonder what she was remembering. It was also times like this where I realized that I still know next to nothing about her.

We've only hung out a few times in the past couple weeks, but she's been calling me every couple days to just talk. It's mostly been me talking through, me filler her in on my life and my interests and her listening. I'd never known she was such a good listener. And looking at her now, knowing she probably got a call from a nervous Gretchen in the front office and rushed over here without a second thought.

"You're smiling". Pulled out of my thoughts, I hadn't realized that my mother had pulled up a chair and was now sitting next to me. I hadn't realized I was smiling either, but now, I could feel it.

"Thanks for coming to my rescue, not that I needed it."

"Any time Rose. And according to your doctor, you do needed. He said you feignted and that it was probably just stress, but that"-

"but that I shouldn't go home alone and that I should take it easy. I heard. But I feel fine now, and Dr. Grimshaw said I could leave when you got here. You don't mind do you, I know I probably work you up out of your sleep for nothing. Sorry."

"Rose, you don't need to apologise. I'm your mother and it's about time I start acting like it. I love you and I want to make sure you're okay. And of course I don't mind coming to get you. I like taking care of you, even if you can take care of yourself. We had fun last time didn't we?"

"Yeah". I laughed as I slowly rose off the bed and started stretching. The first week after my surgery my mom was practically glued to my hip. She took care of me in a way that I was surprised she knew how to. She cooked for me and Dimitri and practically lived with us for a while. She was really worried about me being alone for so many hours while Dimitri worked and I didn't mind the company. If I'm being honest, I would have enjoyed if Lissa had stopped by, but she has a people to govern and a degree to earn. She hasn't officially decided on a major yet, but she'd still really busy. She called every day though, so I guess I couldn't complain.

She helped me off the bed and out of the room. I didn't need help walking, but she stayed close anyway as I thanked for his time and he told me that he would call about rescheduling the appointment next week. I said my goodbyes and we made our way to the door.

"Wait"

She stopped me half way there though. I wasn't expecting it, so I lost my balance for a moment, but righted myself quickly. For a moment we stood in a comfortable silence. She looked like she was contemplating something big and now I was starting to worry.

"Mom, what is it? What's wrong?"

To my utter surprise, my mom actually blushed before clearing her throat to speak.

 _Oh, this better be good._

"Rose I don't know how to say this and I don't know how you're going to take it but there's something I have to tell you before we go outside. "

I nodded for her to continue, wondering what had made my mother, the least vulnerable person I'd ever met, to blush.

"So...umm...I'm kinda seeing someone. His name is Gary. Gareth. And he's sitting in my car, waiting for us to come outside. I asked him to wait in the car so I could tell you first. I didn't want you to feel ambushed or put you under any more stress. "

I didn't say anything at first, letting it sink in and letting her squirm a little. When I didn't immediately reply, she blushed harder, spreading it across her nose and cheeks and tipping her ears pink. I guess she took my surprise as a cue to further explain.

"He's 25. But we've know each other for years. Several years. We've lived with each other for years. Not romantically, but we did. We both used to guard the same man and when I left, so did he."

"So he just picked up his bags and left a continent for you. I figured you were seeing somebody but didn't know you were in such a serious relationship."

"It's not. We were just really close before I left my charge and we're still very close. We've been through a lot together. He's been living at my apartment. That's why I've been avoiding having you over. I didn't know if you'd be comfortable with knowing that I'm living with a man that's young enough to be your brother. I mean, I know he's young but, like I said, we've been friends for years and he's made it clear that he's always wanted a relationship with me and I've kind of wanted the same thing. This relationship is still pretty new and we haven't been on many dates, but he's the first guy I've actually wanted to be with in a long time."

I was waiting to see if she'd give any more official details, but she didn't. I guess the silence got to her before me.

"Rose please say something. anything."

I looked down at my phone to check the time through the cracked screen.

"Do you mind if I call Dimitri before we go? I was supposed to call him when I got to his apartment and he's probably worried."

"...sure"

I could see my mother's disappointment on her face and I felt bad about it, but I didn't really know what to say. I'd half-jokingly expected her to be seeing someone since she suddenly didn't want me over her apartment anymore, and I wasn't upset or offended. I didn't really know how I felt about my mother being in a semi-serious relationship with a 25 year old man, not that I was in any position to judge an age gap.

I called Dimitri and gave him an update on my wear abouts. He didn't sound like he was in the best mood, which I guess would be understandable. He'd probably freaked out when he called his neighbor only to hear that I hadn't called him to buzz me up said that he was glad I was okay and that he would pick me up from my mom's place the moment his shift was over. He'd kept the call short any I had mixed feelings about it. I knew he was working and was probably busy, but the way he kept his responses so curt and short made me think of our earlier text messages and how I'd gotten the same feeling.

With a slightly heavier heart, my mom and I walked to her car. Sitting in the passenger seat, reading what appeared to be a comic book, was a young looking guy that was assumingly this Gareth character. He was tall, muscular, and a little pale for a dhampir, but he was attractive enough. He wore glasses and a Lenny Kravitz tshirt and jeans. He looked like a college student and I'm not sure If I approved of that, not that it was any of my business really. He had a British accent and looked like he was always about to smile.

I got in the back and we all rode back to my mom's apartment, a slight tension in the air that left all three of us a little quiet and subdued.

AN: Thanks for reading! please review.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Thanks for the reviews. Please keep reading.

 **I got in the back and we all rode back to my mom's apartment, a slight tension in the air that left all three of us a little quiet and subdued.**

Dpov

I ended the conversation with Roza before I could say anything I might regret saying.

I know it's not her fault, but I was just having a bad day, and worrying about her was making it worse.

On top of watching Christian run laps all night, all I could think about was Roza and how I know she isn't happy, whether she admits it or even knows it yet. And I understand.

She's been cooped up in the apartment for weeks and I'm barely there. And all her other friends have been busy, especially Vasilissa. She barely has time to talk to either one of us these days.

Our phone calls slowly cut down from being daily to weekly then bi weekly. Now I'm lucky if she has time to call at all.

And I still have all this crap floating around my head about Tasha and that damn letter she sent me last week. I know she's lying, that she has to be lying, but I can't stop thinking about it. And I have no idea what to say to Roza, or Christian. I don't know if I should say anything at all. After all, a lying, attention-seeking Natasha is the least of our worries. I'm still getting the stupid, random hate emails and letter, which I also have yet to inform Roza about. And the only way I'm keeping that a secret now is because she's always asleep when I go to check my PO box.

After everything with Tasha and Roza and the surgery and now this. I might start pulling my own hair out.

I looked up from staring at the pages in a book I'm attempting to reread to see Christian fall on his face into the dirt again. For a moment, he just lays there, then he gets back up and walks toward me with a slight limp, looking too tired to be upset that all were doing for his training is running.

"Can I stop now."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I said no."

"Didn't you just see me fall? Again."

"Yes"

"I think I sprained my ankle."

"I watched you fall and you're fine. At most, it just hurts a little more than it should. You're fine. Go run."

"How many laps left?"

"You don't need to know that."

"I'd kinda like to know how much longer I'm going to have to sweat my organs out on your whims while you stand there and read your stupid books and talk to Rose all night."

"That does not concern you and yes, you will keep running until I say so. You've barely run three miles and it's been almost two hours. I can jog 10 miles in two hours. So until you can at least run a mile in less than half an hour, don't expect to be doing anything else or advancing in any way. You need to learn how to run before we start training."

"I know how to run. And of course you can run that distance in such a short amount of time. You're you and I'd just-"

"Just another weak, defenseless moroi who can't even run, let alone follow directions without being an ass about it?"

On that note, he just kept running, a little slower each lap.

 _I'll need to build up his endurance. He's still slower than a lot of the freshman novices. But at least he's breathing better._

A month ago he couldn't go half a mile without a break because he'd developed this terrible habit I've seen in a lot of inactive people: involuntarily holding his breath during cardiatric-related exercises.

Soon after noticing this, my mind drifted back to Roza.

 _I'll have to end training early to go pick her up. Oh well, I'm only here so Christain doesn't hurt his ego too much._

An hour later, Christian was showering off in the public gym shower room and I was already heading to my car. Normally, I would just walk, but since Roza's accident, I need to be as fast as possible.

AN: Thanks for all the favorites and follows! Don't forget to review!


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Thanks for the reviews. Please keep reading.

 **An hour later, Christian was showering off in the public gym shower room and I was already heading to my car. Normally, I would just walk, but since Roza's accident, I need to be as fast as possible.**

Jpov

The ride to my apartment was quick, thankfully. The ride had been so quiet, something I'd come to not expect when Gary was in the car with me. I'm not the most talkative person, but Gary is. He's always telling me stories of before we met or of small adventures he gone on while still new to Court. He's always making me laugh or making me think but on this ride he was silent. And I know it was because of Rose and I don't know how to feel about that. All I'd thought about up until now was how my daughter would react. I hadn't spent one moment thinking about how Gary would feel about meeting my 18 year old year old daughter or how he would react. The ride was filled with awkward silence and my unspoken guilt.

Best 10 minutes of my life.

When we got to my apartment, it was still quiet. I'd also grown accustomed, in these last few weeks, to Gary plopping on my couch the moment we got home and unceremoniously kicking off his loafers, just to strategically place them in the corner by the door when he thought I wasn't looking. It's one of the numerous quirky things that he does daily, something I really adore about him.

But this time, he just slid his shoes off at the door and sat on the couch. I tried not to read into how he sat in the seat closest to the window as if he were prepared to jump out of it if need be.

 _You're overthinking this. Stop overthinking this. You're fetus of a boyfriend just met your embryo of a daughter you little baby. He probably just doesn't want to make her uncomfortable._

With that thought in mind and a smirk I didn't want to show, somewhat failing, I went into the kitchen and put some of last night's beef stew into a bowl for Rose. She probably hadn't eaten before the doctor's visit. I sprinkled some cheese and bread crumbs on top and proceeded to nuke it in the microwave. While I waited, I chopped up some carrots to have on the side. She could throw them in if she wanted. I remembered she loved carrots as a baby, but I haven't asked her how she feels about them now. Maybe she still does. Maybe she hates carrots now. Maybe she-

"Look at you being all motherly. "

"Look at you being all talkative."

I felt his arms circle around me as I reached for the dinging microwave.

 _I hate that stupid noise; I wish people made nukes with a silent mode._

He was warm, he's always warm, and he smelled like his usually scent of sandalwood and lavender. I loved the way he smelled.

As I moved the hot bowl back onto the counter, I felt him plop his head on top of mine and breath into my hair. It's something he did a lot, claiming he loved the way I smelled, something that made no sense to me because I use unscented soap and only owned one ancient, dusty, unopened bottle of dreadful perfume that my great aunt gave me as a birthday present years ago.

"You've been awfully quiet today."

"Well I just met your daughter, I'm a little freaked out."

"Gary. I know this isn't the way either of us wanted you two to meet but-"

"Janie, I don't think she's up for small talk either. She's been playing with her phone since you left and I think she might be as freaked out as I am."

"You're freaked out?"

I turned around in his arms and looked at him. I don't know how I expected either if them to react the first time that they saw each other, but I didn't think it would be this uncomfortable for them. They're both very important people in my life, the most important, and they're actually very similar.

They both like animals, and food, and sports. They both like having leadership roles and they like working with people. They both love pizza. I was going to order pizza the first time they met.

He just looked at me with those big grey eyes looking like he didn't know what to do and I couldn't help but find it adorable. I kept finding new, adorable things to adore about him nearly every day. Things I hadn't known when we'd worked together like how he prefers to take cold showers in the morning and hot ones at night. Or how he hates french food, even though we lived in France for years. Or how he thinks purebred dogs are a menace to humanity. Or how he's a great baker, even though he hates to cook. Everything about him was amazing and adorable and fun. Being with him is amazing and adorable and fun.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're adorable."

"I'm a grown man, I am not adorable."

I smiled at that and he responded with a quick kiss, barely touching my lips. He likes to tease me like that, so I tugged on his shirt before he could move away from me completely, not hard enough to rip the fabric but so he couldn't move away with ease. On that note and with a smirk of his own, I pulled him back towards me and kissed him, deeper than he'd kissed me.

I kissed him and everything was perfect. It was just us and nothing else mattered. I missed this feeling. Like the only two things in this world that mattered were the person you were with and finding a way to never stop feeling the way you were feeling. The last time I'd felt something like this I'd practically been engaged to Ibrahim.

 _Now exactly why am I thinking about Abe when I'm kissing my hot, new boyfriend?_

I ignored the thought and deepened the kiss more, slowly biting his lip. Breath shallow and slow, his arms moved lower from my waist to my hips and he pushed me forward into the counter. I gasped as the bare skin under my shirt, which had ridden up slightly due to our current activities, brushed against the cool granite countertop, causing a very welcome shiver to run up my spine and causing my mind to travel elsewhere. I felt his lips smile against me and wished the moment could last forever.

We heard a cough come from the direction of the doorway leading into the kitchen and immediately separated, startled into 'guardian mode' as Gary likes to describe it.

And there was Rose, standing in front of us looking like she'd rather be anywhere else. Needless to say, I was mortified, and Rose didn't look much better. There was silence for a moment, the same silence from the car earlier. We all sort of just stood there, looking at each other. Then Rose's phone buzzed in her hand and she looked down. The noise seemed to give Gary the motivation to move again.

He ducked out of the kitchen, saying something about missing some television show and closed the bedroom door on his way in, leaving Rose and I alone.

There was more silence as Rose checked her phone and I stood there, the only noise coming from the keystrokes of her phone as she responded to whoever had texted her.

"Rose"-

"It's fine. Whatever. Can we just pretend that didn't happen? Dimitri's outside waighting for me so I'm going now."

"But"-

"Mom, it's fine."

"Okay but, do you want to take some stew with you. know Dimitri's been helping you with your cooking but he's still pretty busy so"-

"Mom. I said it's fine. I don't want any of your crappy soup so I'm saying goodnight. Okay?"

For a moment, I didn't say anything. She was upset. She was upset with me and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to fix this. She said she's fine but I can look on her face and tell that's a lie. I don't know how to fix something like this or if there's even anything to fix.

Before I could gather my bearings, Rose was out of the kitchen, coat and phone in hand, and out of the door. Now I was the only person left in the kitchen, alone.

Dazed, I put the bowl of leftovers in the fridge and made my way to the bedroom. Gary met me in the unlit hall connecting the kitchen floor with the living room, leading to the average sized bedroom. He looked flushed and boyish, a new look for him. Like all his other expressions, I thought it was absolutely adorable, but I couldn't take the time to enjoy it, not after my daughter just watched be makeout with my boyfriend the same day she found out there even was a boyfriend to makeout with.

I put my face on Gary's chest, relishing in how warm he was, as on arm circled around me, keeping me close, and the other rubbed my hair. For a moment, we were silent. Then, he burst out with laughter.

I listened as the laughs made his chest shake and he held me tighter to him. Soon, I was laughing too. We both laughed and laughed until we were on the floor of that dark hallway in tears, clutching our sides as if they were going to fly away if we didn't.

Somehow, I ended up on top of him, still laughing. He wasn't laughing anymore, just looking at me.

Eventually, I was able to speak, chuckling in between breaths.

"Why are you looking at me?"

"Because you're beautiful."

And on that note, I was pretty chuckled out. With both our faces still pink with laughter he moved his hands up, starting at my hips and traveling to the base of my neck, his right thumb stroking my cheek, the other playing in my hair.

He gently tilted my neck down and brushed my lips against his. He spoke before the kiss could move further.

"While hiding from your daughter like a baby, I ordered pizza and milkshakes from that diner you like on the lower east sect. I asked the to make it fresh so it should be here in half an hour or so."

I smiled at that. He knows how much I love pizza and milkshakes. It's what we had on the first night we met and on our first official date.

"Well, I guess we'd better make good use of our time then."

"Oh luv, I intend to."

In one sweep, he lifted himself off the floor and tossed me over his shoulder, walking toward the bedroom. I laughed at the sudden elevation change and kept laughing when he tossed me on the bed playfully and climbed on top of me.

For the next thirty minutes, we rolled around in black satin sheets, filling the room with laughter, gasps, bitten lips and silent screams.

AN: Thank for reading! Don't forget to review.

Fletcher


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Hi guys. Thanks for all your feedback. It makes me want to keep writing, even though I probably should be making a spreadsheet right now for my psych class.

But first, to anyone that actually takes the time to read my stupid author's notes, I just wanted to make something clear. (I'm probably going to start ranting, so you can just skip this if you don't care.)

This is a fanfiction story, my fanfiction story. It's the continuation of a series that I love and have been reading and rereading for years, a continuation that I wanted to see happen.

It's my story, it's how I want it to be, and that's the way it's going to stay. That's kinda the point of the site. This ff isn't just about Rose and Dimitri, it's about all of the major VA characters, just like in the series. Actually, this isn't really even a Romitri story at all. It's a Rose story, again, like the series.

I'm not writing another love story that you could find on any of the other hundreds of VA fanfictions because it's already been done and, to be honest, I was never a die hard Romitri fan.

I fell in love with their love and how strong and genuine it was, not their relationship and not both characters grouped together as a conjoined set. Where Rose goes, Dimitri does not always have to follow.

And as for the whole Tasha being pregnant thing, whoever that random 'Guest' that said that eluded to, I am very much aware that it's been done before, so just bear with me. I have an angle that I think will be pretty cool later on in the story.

I think that I'm making a ff that hasn't been done before, creating a pov that I haven't already read a thousand and one times, not that it really matters. And if that's not what you came here to read then fine, don't read it. Trust me when I tell you all that no one cares if you don't like my story, I certainly don't, but it's not something that I want circulating on my public review page, something some readers use to judge whether they're even going to give a story a chance. So if you could try to not write the first thing that blasts out of your brain about my first story, it would be appreciated. Instead, maybe try private messaging me because you can do that. I respond.

If you want another Romitri story or you don't really care about Janine or the other characters, then write your own story, or skip to the next chapter, whenever I get to writing it, or just reread one of the other stories you apparently love so much.

With that said, thank you to all the positive people on this site who think before they type and are trying to keep an open mind about a story that only has five chapters in it, chapters that have only covered one day in a story made of several years, that I plan on working on and improving for several years.

 **For the next thirty minutes, we rolled around in black satin sheets, filling the room with laughter, gasps, bitten lips and silent screams.**

Rpov

I stepped out of my second silent car ride of the day and walked with Dimitri up to the guardian residence hall we were living at. I convinced him to walk with me. It was more of a compromise, really.

I told him that I'd take the elevator up to his apartment and wait for him to get his mail, on the condition that I got to stretch my legs first. And it's not like I gave him much of a choice. I was so tired of the silence that I jumped out of the car before he finished parking.

Just like the car ride, the walk was silent. I stared ahead, waiting for him to tell me what was bothering him but he didn't. He just walked with me and stared ahead too.

When I stepped off the elevator to his apartment I found a detached looking Dimitri unlocking his door and clutching his mail for dear life.

"Easy there comrade, don't kill the mail, kill the messenger."

He turned to me, keys still in the door, and looked at me with a level of confusion that I found insulting.

"Relax Dimitri, it was a joke. Now, per your request, lets walk in together and do some conservative, clothes on, couply couple stuff then maybe... we can go do other couply couple stuff. I promise I'll let you know if my heart rate-."

On that note, he dropped the mail and his duffle bag full of sweaty clothes and kissed me in the middle of the hallway, hard and with tongue. And there was touching. His hands were under my sweater, skimming under my jeans and caressing the small pieces of fabric underneath them. We stayed like that for a few seconds.

I was caught off guard, so I took a step back, but my mouth kept kissing him. His body and my body moved in unison, backing up against the wall and iIt was in that moment that I realised that we hadn't kissed since I got out of the hospital, weeks ago. We'd barely touched or said a word to each other. Maybe that was the problem.

I think it was because neither one of us knew what to say or do, or not do, anymore. Dr. Grimshaw said I should try to keep my heart rate normal, not too fast or too slow. That meant no sports, no exercise unless necessary, no spicy food, no staying up late, no scary movies, no high-stress situations, no sex, and the list goes on. And especially no work, not unless I want to help out Court's seriously understaffed filing crew. Needless to say, I didn't know what to do with myself and we didn't know what to do with each other.

I was surprised that Dimitri made the first move since he's been volunteering himself to be my 'on-call nurse' since I was released, making me food, checking what I'm watching since I basically just watch tv all day now, paying his neighbors to keep an eye on me while he works.

It was actually kind of nice, him doing something unexpected. Well, it was until one of Dimitri's neighbors, an elderly dhampir woman who lived across the hall and alone named Gracie, slipped on a piece of stray mail that had landed in her doorway.

She yelped and fell on her back. Dimitri and I instantly split apart. Dimitri went to help her while I picked up the mail and tried to cover my smile by looking away, the both of us apologizing with labored breaths and red faces. Dimitri gave me a look that said I should stop before Gracie noticed, but I couldn't help it.

Getting shot and dying again had given me a darker sense of humor. I didn't mind, because it meant that the world was funnier to me. But everyone else did, everyone else minded. Except for Christian, your average damaged person, everyone thought I was being rude.

When picking up the mail, I noticed that one of the envelopes was addressed to Warren State Hospital. I paused for a moment, knowing I'd heard the name somewhere but I couldn't recall.

I knew it wasn't a hospital in Court, or back near Vlads, but I'd heard of it before. It wasn't sent here by mistake. It was addressed to Dimitri and the envelope had a smudged red kiss print on it. I had been folded in half, like it was trying to be kept out of the way. I placed it in my back pocket and picked up the rest of the mail.

 _That's odd._

Dimitri was coming out of Gracie's apartment, saying that she was fine but that he would be dropping her off at the clinic tomorrow to have her checked out, just to be on the safe side.

Gracie may be a dhampir, but she was also 86 years old and that age might have caught up to her. She was the oldest dhampir I'd ever met aside from Yeva, only God knows how old she is, and thought it would be good to go on the safe side of things.

When we got into the apartment, Dimitri took the mail and looked through it, like he was looking for something. I guess he didn't find what he was looking for because he looked tense and I could feel his demeanor take a darker light. I thought it was amusing.

"Looking for something comrade? Please tell me I don't have to worry about you having some mentally disturbed wife locked up somewhere while you have your way with me. Cuz that would really put a damper on things and we were having such a good time just now."

I was joking of course. It's a game Dimitri and I started instead of talking. We try to put in facts about different old books we'd both read. His hints were always a little harder to pick up on, but it was a fun game. Each time one of us guessed the right reference, we got a point. And at the end of the month, next week, the winner gets to have the looser as their personal slave for the day.

I pulled the envelope out of my pocket as he turned around. I expected him to relax and give me some light hearted lecture about stealing personal property but that's not what happened.

I could tell by his livid expression that that was the total opposite of what was about to happen and the smile I'd been showing off quickly died away.

"WHY DID YOU TAKE MY MAIL? IT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!"

"Dimitri-"

"GIVE IT TO ME. NOW."

"Okay. I'm sorry.-"

"NOW ROSE."

"Okay, fine. Here."

I tossed the envelope at him and he caught it mid-air, placing it in his back pocket and walking into the bedroom. He closed the door and it was quiet again.

After the kiss in the hall and now this, my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. I felt like I couldn't get enough air in my lungs and I was starting to get dizzy. I braced myself against the kitchen counter and breathed.

 _Just remember what Grimshaw said. Just breath. Think about something else, something relaxing._

So that's what I did. I tried to breath slower and thought about Dimitri and I in a little breakfast nook in Denmark. Then I though of Lissa and I floating in her parents pool, pretending to be dead bodies (Did I forget to mention that Lissa and I were weird children.). I imagined scenario after scenario and focused on my breathing until it decreased back to normal.

I'm sure only a few minutes had passed but it was enough to make me want to stay calm as long as possible. I wanted to confront Dimitri, but I wasn't prepared for the effect it might have on my body right now.

I also didn't want to sit around waiting for Dimitri to explain whatever it was that had just happened or why he's in such a bad mood, why he's been in such a bad mood for weeks. So I wrote a note on a post-it, stuck it to the front door, and walked out, not really sure where I'd end up.

 _I went for a walk. Not sure when I'll be back. I'll eat while I'm out and I'll call if I need you. Don't worry and don't wait up. Love you comrade, even when you're acting weird. - Roza_

AN: Thanks for reading; don't forget to review! I always want to hear from you guys and I read everything. And remember, you can always direct message me using the little envelope icon near my user name if you have any concerns about the story or its content.

Fletcher


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Ik this one's a little short. Finals are coming up and I don't have time to make it as long as I want. Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!

 _ **I went for a walk. Not sure when I'll be back. I'll eat while I'm out and I'll call if I need you. Don't worry and don't wait up. Love you comrade, even when you're acting weird. - Roza**_

Rpov

After leaving Dimitri's apartment, I walked in no particular direction, but I didn't get far. About a half mile into my walk, I felt dizzy and my chest started to ache. I ended up on a bench in a park near one of Court's few gym areas. The dhampir housing and the gyms were usually close by each other.

After collecting myself, I bought a cup of coffee at a barista cart that rolled by. It was cold out, but I didn't drink the coffee, having too many close calls in such a short amount of time. So I sat there on the bench, letting the cup warm my hands.

It was a beautiful night. Around this time, abiding by Court tradition, most of electric lights outside had been converted and replaced with gas lamps and real flames. It was a clear night and I could see stars in the sky. Small children were playing in the park, their parents shamelessly shooing their children away from me.

I didn't mind. I'm not a kid person. They're loud and selfish and messy. So, I didn't mind that the concerned mothers of Court deemed me unfit to be within breathing distance of their children.

I sat on that bench for hours, not paying attention to the time and just enjoying the night. I breathed in the crisp air and smiled to myself.

 _This is exactly what I needed, a little alone time._

"And what are you looking so blissful about? Did that doctor give you a new ticker?"

A smiled before I saw him, turning to face the gypsy's beautiful nephew.

AN: Can you guess who she's smiling at? I'll try to upload the next chapter soon. Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Thanks for reading!

 **I smiled before I saw him, turning to face the gypsy's beautiful nephew.**

Rpov

Ambrose looked gorgeous as ever in a simple black tee shirt and jeans. They were regular clothes but I think Ambrose was just the type of person that looked good in anything and great in everything. He wore matching black boots and his hair was as curly and gorgeous as ever, a darker brown since the last I'd seen him. He was also wearing a matching blazer with leather details.

Before I could speak, he picked me up in a hug that left me a little breathless for reasons I don't think were heart related.

Up close, I could see his eyes were practically sparkling with joy and it was infectious, brightening my already blissful mood. For a moment, we just smiled at each others.

"So, where are you off too all dressed up?"

"Why don't you come with me a find out?" His smile was clear but his words weren't.

 _What the hell. I'm not doing anything anyway._

"Cool. Just let me get my back and let's go."

With a nod from Ambrose, I walked back and retrieved my bad, well, more of a small book bag. It was too small to hold anything big, but it held my phone, my wallet, and my stake, which was all I needed. The bag was purple faux leather with black zippers. Lissa had bought it for me as a 'housewarming' gift. I'd been eyeing it for a while online and was going to buy it as a birthday present to myself but she beat me to it.

Come to think of it, I haven't seen Lissa since the welcome home party and that was weeks ago. She calls every now and then but it's been pretty quiet between us.

 _I should go see her soon._

On that note, Ambrose and I walked toward Court's shopping area with Ambrose leading the way.

Dpov

 _Dimitri, this is the fourth letter I've written to you and you still haven't responded. I'm only allowed to write once a week and I've been writing you for a month. I had one phone call, one opportunity to hear a familiar voice for the rest of my life, and I used it on you, not that you bothered to pick up the phone._

 _I've spent every opportunity to speak to Christian or anyone else on you and you refuse to respond to me._

 _We both know that you always do this, since we were kids playing in that stupid sandlot in your backyard. I do something stupid and you stop talking to me. You always wait for me to give up, to stop fighting and to just let you be mad at me. You ice me out until I can't take it anymore then you come running back with open arms._

 _And usually, I can deal with that. I can deal with you taking out your frustrations on me if it means that, eventually, I hear from you._

 _I understand that what I did was extreme. I understand that it was wrong. I understand that you may never trust me after hurting her and I could live with that if I have to._

 _We both know that you forgave me the moment you voted to keep me alive, even if your child bride had to convince you to do so._

 _We both know that I would do anything to take back how much I hurt you, how scared I must have made you._

 _Just like I know that you won't respond until I give up trying._

 _So this is me waving my metaphorical white flag. This is me giving up and letting you have the control you so desperately desire._

 _I love you, even if you don't believe me, even if you hate me. That doesn't change how I feel._

 _Forever yours,_

 _Tasha._


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review. And special shout out to **luciinwaters** for consistant reviews! I look forward to what you guys have to say and I love reading reviews, especially consistent ones. Now, on with the show!

 _ **I love you, even if you don't believe me, even if you hate me. That doesn't change how I feel.**_

 _ **Forever yours,**_

 _ **Tasha.**_

AN: Just to let you guys know, this chapter is more LissaxChristian and will be a little racy ( **rated M** ). Nothing too graphic, just a lot of implication and repeated vocabulary. They don't actually have sex but if that's not your cup of tea just skip this chap.

Thanks for reading,

Fletcher

Cpov

When practice was over, I headed to the locker room in the back of the gym. Dimitri was gone when I got out of the shower, probably running to see about whatever had him so pissed off today.

I walked home, skipping my usual run. Dimitri can say what he wants, my freaking leg hurts and he barely glanced at it. It's bruised and swollen and I'm not running two miles on it if I don't have to.

It had been a long day and I was looking forward to seeing Lissa. She's been busy these past few weeks. But her schedule was free tonight, so we planned on making the best of it.

Like Tatiana and other queens before, Lissa lived in the huge royal castle that was voted as her new home. It was immaculate and damn near narcissistic in its design and layout, as if trying to physically display the glory of its inhabitant and her many many servants.

Even still, it was a very beautiful home.

The castle was big, all one story, and seemed to go on forever with thousands of acres of land behind it, including part of the Pocono Mountains, and even some underground tunnels for emergencies.

Before Lissa's school term started, we spent days exploring the place, finding secret passageways and old, forgotten servant quarters. It was fun.

The castle was lavish, nothing but velvet floors and silk seat covers and original Tiffany sets, and in the far east wing there was even a small room lined with actual white mink, much to Lissa's vegetarian-pride-filled disapproval. The room had its own fireplace, which was admittedly a fire hazard due to the state of the walls, and was furnished with a large french window and an even larger, even more expensive looking white couch, fitted in cashmere and real gold accents of course. The floors were covered in the softest carpet I'd ever felt in my life and Lissa loved it so much that she was terrified to ask what it was made of. It was so bad at first that she wouldn't even go in the room, daydreaming about helpless animals being skinned alive by crazy people.

I thought it was adorable and she thought I was being an ass.

I was unofficially living in one of the much smaller studio apartments behind the castle. It was a lot bigger than the dorm room I was used to but smaller than a house, not that I cared. It has a pool and that's good enough for me.

On more than one occasion, Lissa has tried to spend the night but always gets called back to the castle because of some stupid centuries old traditions.

Apparently, a queen can never spend any unnecessary amount of unsupervised time, especially nights, with any man she's not being guarded by, engaged or already married to, unless previously married or widowed. Which was basically a long winded version of saying that I can't have sex with my girlfriend until she decides to break tradition. Or we get married, which we both agreed isn't happening any time soon, if ever.

To my surprise, Lissa's not really the marrying type, or so she says. She describes herself as a 'modern woman' who doesn't need a piece of paper to make her happy. I think it's mostly for the good press it get her from some of the more liberal Moroi feminist groups. One time, after some fundraiser I snuck out of going to, she joked that marrying me would make it too hard to break up with me. She was a little drunk at the time and I choose to believe she was joking. It never came up again.

I think the tradition is crap but Lissa says she has bigger issues to worry about and I know she's right. I just wish it wasn't killing my sex life.

Lissa wants to be as perfect as possible until all the technicalities of her empowerment are finished and she can start making her own traditions.

I checked in at the warded gates that cover the entire grounds, even the mountains, then headed to my apartment.

When I got there, the doors were unlocked and two of Lissa's shadow guards were sitting in my living room, playing cards. They immediately stopped what they were doing and stood facing me. And, man if looks could kill.

"Relax guys, it's just me. No need to get your tights all twisted. Where is she?"

They relaxed visibly and resumed their game. Both men, the guard nearest to me was Alex: tall, blonde, my age, Canadian. The other was Sasha, a Ukrainian guy in his 40s who didn't speak English but Lissa said came highly recommend. Both had been living permanently in Court for the last few years, on retention for Tatiana's staff if needed. Lissa decided to keep them rather than bring in new guys who probably didn't know Court as well as people who actually lived here.

Alex directed me to my office in the back if the apartment and I made my way there, leaving my bag and shoes at the door, not bothering to lock it.

The apartment was decorated entirely by Lissa and Rose, who claimed I'd have nothing but a blow up mattress and a fridge without them, and it was kinda true. I didn't care about making sure my walls were the right shade of white or about what texture my rugs should be or what tile to use in the kitchen to induce a calm environment or whatever the hell Lissa had been rambling about.

After a few days, I started to get the jist that Rose was just helping out of boredom since she was still on bed rest but I didn't care and Lissa was happy so it didn't matter. Needless to say, Rose spent most of that week sitting in my kitchen, eating all my food and picking out paintings and furniture to fit Lissa's theme: peace and relaxation. I think this is what she would want her house to look like. It seemed to suit her better, not that I minded.

So I let Lissa and Rose do everything. That meant ending up with a lot of eggshells and pastels and glass paperweights. Personally, for a guy who only wears black and leather, it was a little...happy. But it wasn't bad and that was good enough for me.

The office was hidden behind a revolving bookcase, my favorite thing about the apartment. It was filled with all my cook books and a lot of Lissa's Court files, even a few of Roses nature magazines and some of Dimitri's old westerns he'd let me borrow. There was also an untouched encyclopedia and almanac set from Rose's mom, a surprising housewarming gift along with a coffee maker. It wasn't fancy but it got the job done.

Behind the bookcase was a small room. Three of the walls were built in, yet to be used, bookshelves. The last wall was made entirely of glass and had a balcony connected to it that looked out at a great view of the mountains. There were lamps in every corner of the room, all off and sitting on their own respective tables. Everything was a beautiful dark wood and I loved it.

In the middle of the small room stood a huge, hand carved wooden desk that came with the apartment. There were supposed to be two chairs sitting in front of the desk but Lissa had commandeered one to rest her feet on. All three chairs were the same shiny black faux leather swivel chairs with silver buttons, Rose's pick.

She was sitting in the chair behind my desk looking adorable in a publicist-approved, slightly-above-the-knee length dark blue, navy I think, dress with little green triangles printed on it and the emerald necklace I'd given her for her birthday last week. It had been my mother's and Lissa had accepted with open arms and lots of frowned upon, unladylike public displays of affection.

Her headphones were in and she was so enwrapped in whatever she was typing that she didn't even notice I'd come in.

I closed the door and walked along the bookshelves, making sure she didn't see me. I walked up behind her and prepared to scare her but for some reason, she turned around with a huge smile on her face, completely unphased.

" How did you"-

"Did you forget you have a shadow? and that one of this room's entire walls is a widow? You know, those things that bring light into a room and maybe cause shadows to appear?"

"... Damnit. And don't be a smart ass, it's sunset not the crack of dawn."

On that note, she smiled again and turned back to her work.

I leaned down, placing my arms on top of hers and resting my head on hers. I pulled out one of her ear buds and pressed light kisses on her temple and behind her ear, getting a kick out of feeling her heart beat faster as she tried to continue typing.

"And why are you up so early? Isn't today your first day off in a month?"

"I have the day off day of school, not the day off school and Court."

"No. I distinctly remember helping you find a way to schedule both on the same day. So we could spend some time together. You know, like a normal couple who spends time together and finishes helping their boyfriends christen their new apartments with lots of new apartment sex?."

"Christian, that is not a you don't even believe in christening."

"True. But you do. And this is as much your home as it is mine so...let's christen."

I moved my lips to her neck and watched her keystrokes continue, slower and with a lot more spelling errors and backspacing.

"That includes lot's of hot sex. Lot's of very very hot sex."

"Normal is completely overrated and I'm too busy to have that much sex with you."

" Sex in the kitchen. Sex on the couch."

"Christian."

"Sex on every inch of every floor."

"Christian, I'm working."

"You're always working. Back to sex. We'll have sex in the bathroom and in the pool."

"Obviously, you've put a lot of thought into this."

"I train with Dimitri and then I help you sign papers and then I come here. What else am I supposed to do?"

"Get a hobby. Visit your dear friend Rose."

"Rosie doesn't need me to babysit her. She's a big girl."

"Come on, you havn't seen her since graduation, months ago."

"I most definitely have. I saw her at the hospital. And at your coronation. And the after party. Now stop thinking about your sad, lonely, jobless best friend when you should be thinking about all the sex we're going to have when I kick out your traveling henchmen."

"We're not having sex. I told you, I'm busy. And you know you can't kick them out."

"But I can make them go away. Far, far away. Far outside of this apartment in my new car. Sex in your old one. Sex in the laundry room. You know this one still has one of those old washing machines that vibrates when you use it. Think about it; we could clean up and make a mess all at the same time."

"Christian come on, you're killing me here."

"Sex on the walls. Sex by the bookcases. Sex on this desk."

"Stop saying the word sex. And stop being so filthy. You know these walls are old and definitely not soundproof. They might hear you."

I moved my hand from on top of hers and placed it on her knee, moving up slowly, stopping just shy of where I knew she was waiting for me.

"Why don't we just be filthy together? It's so much more fun that typing."

"Christian what I'm doing is important and I'd appreciate if you'd try and respect that please. I wish I could but I really don't have time for it and you know the rules. I really shouldn't even be spending this much alone time with you."

On that note, I started to suck the sensitive area by her collarbone, relentless in my quest to relive my...urges. We hadn't had sex, had barely been allowed to kiss each other, in months.

First it was Tatiana's 'you're-not-good-enough-for-my-protege' cock blocking, then it was elections, now it's work. Never ending work.

I missed her, and didn't really care about some traditional rule made by a group of old prudes in the 17th century.

She took a deep breath and stopped typing. Victory.

I reached up and closed the laptop and moved it into a drawer in the desk, speaking as I did so.

"Or I could just move this here, put you on the table instead, get on my knees, spread your legs, and be out of your way for 20 minutes. For now."

For a second, she didn't answer, then she turned around in the chair and looked up at me.

Her face was flush and her lips were dark pink, almost red, like she'd been biting them. Her fangs were out, but she didn't seem to notice. It happens; sometimes it's hard for a vampire's body to discern hunger from desire, only noticing the body's change in adrenaline and excitement as a sign to be prepared for anything with only the brain noticing the cause of those feelings. Her eyes were dark and her breath was shallow, like she was trying to calm herself down.

"Why did you do this to me?" Her voice was more breathy, something I could listen to all day.

"Because even if you are busy, I know you have 20 minutes."

She smiled and stood, pulling me into her arms. I took a step forward and lifted her slightly, placing her on the desk. I stepped in between her legs and kissed her until we were both dizzy. I moved my kisses lower to her neck with my hands wrapped in her hair, reveling in the sounds she finally let out as she wrapped her legs around me, pulling me closer.

For a few minutes we stood like that, then I moved my mouth lower. I kissed her collarbone, then, her shoulder, then the small sliver of skin that the conservative dress exposed, my hands pressing circles into the dimples below the arch of her back.

Things were going great. I was on my knees in minutes and had my hands ready when someone banged loudly on the door, spooking Lissa and pissing me off.

 _No. I waited too long for this to stop now._

"Just ignore them."

"Christian!"

With a sigh and slumped shoulders, I looked up at my hot girlfriend with her legs open and her skirt pushed up and her face flushed, fangs out...and her eyes worried.

 _Damnit!_

Whoever it was was still banging on the door.

I took a breath, got up, and walked to the door.

"Christian."

I turned back to see Lissa off the table, looking regal as ever, with her politician face on.

"Don't be mad."

I turned away from her, opened the door, and was startled to find Dimitri at my door, looking more pissed than the last time I'd seen him. He was sweating, still wearing his uniform. He looked like crap, but I didn't really care at the moment.

"Dimitri, what the hell are you doing here? I'm busy."

When he answered, he answered quickly, all in one breath.

"I lost Roza. We had a stupid fight and I don't know where she is and she won't return any of my calls. She's not here but I don't know where else to look. I don't know where else she would go. She never goes anywhere. She doesn't know where to go. Did she call you? Do you know where she is? Please, I can't find Roza."

"Dimitri calm down."

"Christian, she could be lost or freezing in the snow or unconscious right now, don't tell me to calm down. I can't calm down. I CAN'T FIND ROZA!"

AN: Thanks for reading guys. I'll try to get the next chapter up asap. I'm on break now so, I've been sleeping a lot. I passed all my classes! Anyway, did you guys like Christian's pov? The next chapter's probably going to be in Dimitri's. Til, then. And don't forget to review!

Fletcher


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review! Also, this chapter going to be pretty short because my brain is everywhere. I kept thinking about that chapter after this one and couldn't really focus on Dimitri. Just know I'm already working on the next chapter.

" **Christian, she could be lost or freezing in the snow or unconscious right now, don't tell me to calm down. I can't calm down. I CAN'T FIND ROZA!"**

Dpov

I looked for her. I looked everywhere for her. But I didn't find her. Christian and Lissa helped, searching every place I hadn't thought to look, few as they were. But we just didn't find her.

It was nearly noon when I gave up. I ended up going back to our apartment. I told myself that she was fine, that she said she would call. But she never called, never answered any of my calls. She left hours ago. I tried to sleep, even though I knew I couldn't, so I tossed and turned for hours.

All I could think about was the last conversation we had, how I yelled at her. I shouldn't have. Tasha was my problem not hers and I was going to do my best to keep it that way. And to do that I need to find a way to keep Roza focused on other things. But tonight, Roza was my only focus.

So I did what was suggested, wait for her.

 _`````````````````flashback`````````````````````_

" _Christian, she could be lost or freezing in the snow or unconscious right now, don't tell me to calm down. I can't calm down. I CAN'T FIND ROZA!"_

 _I watched his face change to expression I'd never seen: determination. If I wasn't so worried I would have been proud._

 _Christian came with me to look, Lissa voting to stay at the palace to wait to see if Roza came here. She said she'd call if anything turned up, sending two of her guardians with us in her place._

 _With Christian's help, I found new places to search: secret moroi-only spots, hidden blood dens, small dinners I'd never heard of. But we still didn't find her. According to the other guardians, we'd searched everywhere in Court and since there was no record of her leaving, it would be best to just wit and hope she shows up. It was too early to get other guardians involved, not that many would help._

 _A lot of dhampirs in Court had heard of Roza and I's relationship and haven't spoken to me since. It was ridiculous but it was what was happening. I see it every day: the comments, the stares, people literally going out of their way to avoid us. Because she never goes out, usually, Roza doesn't see as much of it, and I want to keep it that way._

 _After some protest on my part, everyone agreed to circle back two more times, spending hours searching and researching. We spent hours searching with no call from Lissa. Soon, it would be morning and Christian and the guards would return to the castle._

 _When they left, I searched by myself a dozen more times. But still, nothing._

 _````````````flashback over````````````````_

I don't know how many hours I sat at the foot of that bed, waiting. Sunset was almost over when she opened the door. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was aware that I hadn't slept in almost two days but I didn't care.

With the time I'd spent waiting, I made a whole speech in my mind about how worried I'd been and how stupid she'd been.

I ended up just yelling at her about the later. And I was right to.

She looked a mess. Her hair was in tangles, loose from the ponytail I'd last seen her in. Her sweater was gone and so were her shoes. She had a bruise on her shoulder, blood on her hand, and a healing cut on her cheek. She was covered in something shiney. She truly looked a mess.

But all I could do was yell, and she just stood there, smiling. It pissed me off and I yelled more. I yelled until my throat was sore and then I yelled more still. By the time I was finished, she wasn't smiling anymore. She looked angry, but she didn't say anything. She hadn't said a single word since she walked through the door.

When I finished yelling, she walked up to me and looked up an me with a sparkle in her eyes that I hadn't realised I'd missed. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft, calm. Even as angry as I was, she managed to calm me with a few words, not that I wasn't still very much upset with her.

"Look, I know you're mad. I don't agree with you, but I understand. I scared you. I should have called. I shouldn't have just gone all M.I.A. because you yelled at me over something as trivial as a piece of mail... And I have more to say about it but I won't because I'm tired. I'm going to go take a shower now, so are you coming with me or are you going to bed?"

For a moment, I didn't know what to say, what to do. So I did what I've always done when I didn't know what to do: I went to work.

I put my shoes back on, put on my duster and walked out the door. I know I shouldn't have. But what else was I supposed to do? Act like I was fine, like she didn't just basically dismiss me from my own conversation? She backed me into a wall without even trying, and I was just supposed to roll with it?

So, I went to work. Even after I heard her calling me back, I kept walking.

AN: Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!

Fletcher


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Hey guys! I'm really liking where the story's going; hope you do to. Please read and review. I love to read them.

Fletcher

 **So, I went to work. Even after I heard her calling me back, I kept walking.**

Rpov

"Dimitri, you can't just walk out! Where the hell are you going; you don't even work today? Dimitri."

He didn't respond. He just kept walking, like I'd never called him. Now I was getting annoyed.

 _What the hell? He can't have one conversation where his word isn't law?_

I closed the door and went into the bathroom, starting the shower and tub at the same time.

Dimitri's apartment was nicer than most guardian homes in court. Because his charge had close ties to the queen, Dimitri's check was bigger, meaning he could afford a bigger place. And it was a nice place, all one floor with lots of windows and light everywhere. It was more of a big condo than an apartment really.

He wasn't big on decorating and it showed in his lack of pictures or colors on the walls. All the furniture was black and nothing about the space was personal, like no one really lived here. It was so different from his apartment back at St. Vlad's, where he'd displayed pictures of his native country and family in simple, vintage picture frames. Nothing in that place matched, from the mugs to the pillows on his bed and I'd loved it, even if I'd only been there once. His old place was cozy and small and warm. This place was cold and too big for just the both of us.

I'd asked Dimitri if I could add a few things to make the place more colorful and homey, there was extra furniture left from Christian's renovations. But he'd always just say it wasn't necessary and change the subject.

The moment I was released from the hospital, Dimitri practically moved me into his apartment overnight. He had all my remaining clothes and books shipped from St. Vlad's and put away in his apartment before I'd left the hospital. I hadn't exactly minded since I didn't have a definite place to go.

Guardians don't typically live with their charges while in Court, even the Queen's unless she asked them to, and Lissa hadn't asked me.

But I had to admit it was all a little rushed.

I spent my first day out of the hospital finding where all my stuff was and deciding whether to ask Dimitri if we'd be sleeping in the same room. I soon learned my answer when I saw only one bed in the big space. I didn't say anything about it. Why would I? It's not like we hadn't already slept together in every sense of the word. It would be absurd to start sleeping separately now.

I cleaned up with a quick shower, not bothering to dry off, and hopped into the tub. It was huge. Like everything else in the house, it was black, granite. I soaked in the water, replaying the night's events.

 _Dimitri can be mad all he wants, that was the most fun I've had in months. And I won't apologize for that._

I guess the heat got to me because before I knew it, it was dark outside and Dimitri was shutting the door. I roused myself and got out of the now very cold tub, dried off, and went to face the problem I'd made.

 _Welcome home darling._

Dpov

I shouldn't have gone to work.

Since I wasn't on call for another 10 hours, I couldn't walk my normal shift in solitude. Instead, I ended up signing stake authorization forms with a group of new guardians. The highlight of my evening was noting how one of the guardians was female.

Ever since the strigoi attacks started, security was tighter for all Court residences, meaning that if a guardian needed a new stake for whatever reason, he had to ask for one in full documentation. The same went for any moroi who had the balls to come in and do so.

Other additions to the Court security included mandatory badges, mandatory uniform, and constant guardian-charge interaction. If you weren't with your charge, you needed to track their phone at all times, be within running distance at all times, and call them every hour.

I liked the new system. It was cleaner, more precise, more efficient. But it was a pain sometimes.

When I finally finished the paperwork I headed home, hoping Roza was asleep. I was tired and angry and didn't want to yell anymore. But I know myself well enough not to trust that I won't do something just because I don't want to.

The walk home was cold but peaceful.

When I opened the door, the apartment was quiet.

 _Thank God._

"Welcome home comrade."

 _Dammit!_

AN: Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!

Fletcher


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